Saturday, September 09, 2006 @ 11:54 AM
its amazing how adolescence has changed me..
i used to happily jump up that long flight of steps to take the train,
despite carrying tonnes of tys,
as i didnt want to bustle my way through the crowd.
now,
i would impatiently wait for the flood of people to squeeze my way through to take the escalator.
i used to finish every bit of my homework,
even till the wee hours of the morning,
for fear of reprimand.
now,
i feel sleep is more important to me.
i used to get excited listening to the bells of the ice cream man,
so that i could persuade my mum to allow me to go down to buy.
now,
i only have to take out a couple of coins,
and i could savour my ice cream,
anytime, anywhere.
jeans and t-shirts were my fav outfit,
occasionally a more elaborate top or two would make me feel dressed enough to impress,
now,
i worry about whether my clothes are in the right colour combination,
and whether my bag fits what i wear.
in the past,
i was happy when my parents bought me new stuff.
now,
i derive more satisfaction when i buy stuff with my own money,
then feel guilty about spending.
i used to wish everyone i knew would grow to like me as a person.
now,
i wish i could grow to love everyone,
love both their weaknesses and strengths,
and be less judgemental.
i used to crave for attention people showered on me,
now,
i wish i could silently go unnoticed.
there are so many parts of me changed,and so many parts of me still as before..
growing up is a strange feeling.
something i would nv have thought of or expected,
silently grows in me,
as much as i wish to embrace this process with enthusiasm,
sometimes i just wish times could just be like before..
and as i grow,
i face more dilemmas,
more tough decisions,
& more situations i cant handle.
on the other hand,
i have more freedom,
more right,
and greater accessibility to the things i yearn,
but,
no matter what,
care and support from my loved ones,
see them being safe and sound,
is just everything i could wish for......